Is God a woman? The jury is still out.
However, I offer the following as definitive proof that God is not a mother: God takes Sundays off.
I've been on full-time duty for, oh, 2 years, 1 week and 1 day, or so. I'm pretty sure I haven't spent an entire day being worshipped since well before that, actually.
On a completely unrelated subject, can someone explain to me why more people don't use Family Services? Correct me if I'm wrong, but as I understand it, you just need to make an anonymous phone call, and they come and take your kids...
Now, where did I put my phone?