Well, with Chris being away, the kids going haywire, and that stomach flu I had last week, I must have accidentally, quietly, and ill-advisedly asked, "What's next?"
And the universe, of course, replied, "Challenge accepted."
I had an ultrasound last Wednesday (to see the Huffling's "morphology"), and boy, is it cute! (photo to come) Another wee little nosey, some chubby cheeks, cute little hands... you know, another Delightful HufflingTM.
And before we left, the tech said that I had a short cervix.
Mom, who came with me (as Chris wasn't there!), immediately panicked and googled, even though I told her, in no uncertain terms, to not google anything. After all, IF they thought it was a big problem, they would have said something when I said, "Great! I'm going to teach an hour-long, high-impact aerobics class tomorrow night." Even though they can't diagnose or give medical advice, if it was enough to be a concern, it would have triggered something. Like that time that the doctor's office called (after my glucose and syphilis tests) and said, "you need to come in to discuss your results" and I said, "is it my blood sugar?" and they said, "we can't discuss results over the phone" and I said, "Oh my god, I have syphilis" and they said, "it's your sugar."
See? A plan so cunning that if you put a tail on it, it would be a weasel.
But no, they were smarter than me. The next night, my doctor's office called and said, "Your placenta's low. Don't lift anything heavy." I asked whether my two delightful children counted as heavy objects. "Yes," she replied. "What about aerobics?" "No aerobics." "Light weight training?" "No." "Walking???" "Walking is fine."
So, Universe, not only am I still, essentially, a single mom, but my mother has moved in (damn you, Google). Dun dun dun. I can't work out.* I can't lift my kids up,** or do laundry. So, I walk to work, grumbling, eat lunch at lunch (what is UP with that?), and go home, watch my mom bathe the kids, lift them into/off of things, and push them in the stroller to daycare, since that's "heavy" too.
And nope, still can't drink.
A girl's gotta do something: I decided to go buy some karma today, as it's Miracle Treat Day. If it helps the kids, I'll even have another Blizzard tonight! Anything! For the kids! I am such a good person. Nom nom nom.
* A coworker thought it was great: I could "finally just relax and put my feet up!" Note that, in 36 years, I have not done that, because I don't like it, not because I've never had the opportunity! I don't want to start now. The only possible positive is that I don't have to suffer the Ridiculous Gym Outfit fiascos 4 times a week.
** V said, "Are you still allowed to hug me?" Awwww....