Thursday, 22 November 2012

And still, I embiggen

Seriously, seriously, SERIOUSLY???

Thirty.  Nine.  Weeks.

Another doc's appt, another doc's appointment booked for next week.  Sigh.

Every day, I make sure that something else that has been appropriately "nested" is pointed out to the belly, as in, "Look, Punchy!  Here's your car seat!  You can come out now."  Or, "Hey, Punchy!  Your diapers are all folded and put away, and your bed is made.  Time to come out."  Or, "Oh, Punchy?  I washed and dried all of your toys, so they're clean and ready for you to play with." 

Today's effort was a bit smaller:  "Hey, Punchy, I did my nails."  Just in case that was what was holding it back. 

I've been considering, lately, that some people just aren't comfortable with this whole Miracle of Life business.  Like me, for example.  Here I am, on my third baby, and am still creeped out horrified disgusted ... no wait, that's all how I actually feel, so I'm taking back my strikethroughs:  I own that I am creeped out, horrified and disgusted by this process.  Still.  Yes, it's amazing.  Yes, it's incredible.  But there is YET ANOTHER little being inside of me who has not only grown bones, but fingernails and toenails, too.  Shudder.  It's just not natural.  Not to mention the weird, yucky side effects, which don't need to be discussed. Bleah.

Ok, fine, since you insist.  Below, a recently-rediscovered effort at explaining about what pregnancy does to your body, drafted when I was the host organism to Huffalump the First, who became Vaughn.  I regret that I never finished it, as the third trimester is really the "best" part, but don't have a scanner at my desk anymore.




Yes, of course my resume says "sweet powerpoint skillz".*

And yes, I am available to present to 7th-9th graders.  I figure that the whole truth would reduce teenage pregnancy by a lot.


*However, my transferring-powerpoint-to-video-file skillz aren't as good, apparently.  Apologies.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

YAY for the PPT!! Loves it. Now, to begin your marketing strategy to take over high school health classes. And celebrate with some SNB's!!!